73 in idea barrages

1.) Instead of having “JUICY” written on the butt of your pants, why not “THE END IS REAR”?

2.) Why must they be war thogs? Why can’t they be peace thogs or, at least, conscientious objector thogs?

3.) Make homemade dog treats in your Easy Bark Oven.

4.) Open a bar in Alice Springs Australia called “Alice’s Chunderland”.

5.) The most indie-rock way of declaring one’s love: “I love you as much as the guy from the Mountain Goats hates his step-father.”

6.) I have decided that, internally, our cat Felix refers to me as “The Doorman”.

7.) Why are we letting neo-fascists call themselves “the alt-right”? It’s just a white hooded sheet of a different shade.

8.) Have they used marijuana-infused mayo to make “bowl slaw” for Colorado Fourth of July parties?