Baby Mama Situation from bad to worse in My Metamorphosis

Omg. I feel like my head is going to explode. I woke up at 3:00am just stressing about this situation and haven’t been able to sleep since. Now I’m at work and it’s still on my mind and won’t go away. I don’t even know where to start…

Let’s start with Friday. Zion had been gone to Bradley’s sister/mother’s house for the past three days with his cousins. It was a nice break - I finally felt like I had my house back and wasn’t a prisoner to my room. Meanwhile Cassidy had been home for the week and said the home phone had been missing. Side note - when I started back to work in January we got a home phone because Cassidy just has an iPod touch that only works on Wifi, with no cell service and I wanted the home phone for emergencies. The internet modem and the cordless phone are both hooked up in the guest room - aka the room Zion is staying in. So anyways, with that being said - when Zion got home Friday evening Bradley asked him where the phone was…

Ya’ll he took the cordless landline WITH him to his aunt’s house because he wanted to “keep in contact with his mom.” I was really pissed off for many reasons.

First and foremost I was super angry that he would just TAKE the phone that is NOT his out of our home, without asking. Besides the obvious - the cordless phone won’t work 25 miles away duh - why would you think it is okay to take a phone that doesn’t belong to you away for three days without asking???

So I’m super pissed about that and super annoyed that Cassidy was at home along for three days without anyway to call 911 or me in case of an emergency.

Then there’s the underlying issue of the unhealthy attachment between him and his mom. Like, did you really need to bring a phone to keep in contact with her for a couple days that you’re at your cousins house? What’s up with that? That is exactly WHY he CANNOT live with us again. I checked the caller ID - she calls multiple times a day, including at night at 10:00/11:00pm. What the fuck? Ever heard of boundaries? No, no she hasn’t. And yet you want him to move back in with us? But you won’t let go? It doesn’t work like that - that was proven in the year that he lived with us. It did not work because she still wanted and had full control over him AND Bradley.

That phone incident was just the tip of the iceberg. World War Three broke out this weekend when Bradley FINALLY grew a pair and told Vivian (baby mama) that he doesn’t think it’s right that she refuses to meet halfway. Well, all hell broke loose after that. She went off on Bradley about how he doesn’t do enough, he is a self-centered asshole, she was coming to get Zion right now, blah blah. Whatever dude. She said it’s not right Zion can’t come to live with us because we’re having a baby. It’s not about us having a baby. Whether we were expecting or not, I would still be against Zion coming.

Why? Because I am sick of her pulling the strings. SHE made the decision for Zion to move in with us in the first place. We went along with it. SHE made the decision for him to move out after a year, even though we said we thought it was best for him to stay, but she went against that. WE told her that if he moves out, he’s not moving back in. This back and forth nonsense is not good for anybody. Now not even a year later YOU decide you want him to move back in with us, and because we say NO, now it’s a problem? Because we’re not going along with YOUR whim? Everything is fine until Bradley doesn’t go along with her gameplan, now Bradley is a “selfish ass hole.” Okay then.

So now Bradley is really considering Zion moving in with us. Cue panic mode again. He’s like, “we gotta do what’s best for Zion”. And I agree with that - to an extent. But “what’s best for Zion” is more like whatever Vivian and Zion want they get and screw everybody else (ie. me and Cassidy). I think about the year that he was with us and I can feel my blood pressure rising. Hence why I couldn’t sleep last night.

I would never deny a child’s relationship with their father. I know what it’s like to have a non-existent dad in your child’s life. I have a lot of guilt because Cassidy’s bio dad sucks and never gave two shits about her. And I know how important it is to have that strong, male role model in your life. But to what extent? Bradley is as active as the mom allows him to be. She wants him to do more, but she’s not willing to help facilitate that. It’s hard when SHE made the move 3.5 hours away and is not willing to meet halfway. Bradley works 6 days a week, it is impossible for him to just run up to Atlanta and back and then back up to drop him off. He sends money, he calls weekly, he gets him all summer and at Christmas - what more can he do? Should he bombard Zion with phone calls EVERY day, multiple times a day like she does? Should he wipe his ass for him like his mom does? I mean what the fuck does she want? They have two different styles of parenting and she expects everyone to conform to hers.. or else.

I could rant over this all day. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my hands are tied and I’m damned either way - if I am adamant about Zion not coming then I look like a total bitch and like I’m trying to keep a father away from his son, and then if I go along with the move, I sacrifice my happiness and well-being.