524 in idea barrages

1.) It wasn’t as bad as torturing the innocent but The Spanish Imposition was still pretty annoying. They stayed on the couch for days.

2.) Sports Authority collapsed into Sports Anarchy which some will consider freedom but w/in 20 years will devolve into various Sports Fiefdoms.

3.) It seems faintly ridiculous to mourn Tower Records it was a giant company yet it still represents a cultural space that’s now simple vacuum.

4.) A sword so strong it cut through anything, its only limitation being it would cut its wielder just as much, of course they called it Hope.

5.) Oh God, they’re using that awful “Squad Goals” neologism to market the Suicide Squad movie. Of course they are.

6.) We don’t need a doorbell, we have a cheeseburger powered alarm system named Ollie.

7.) Only when the pilot told us his family owned the airport did we realize he was part of the landed gentry.

8.) Soviet newspaper articles were often at least partially propaganda, it was a high pravdability.

9.) In the Stallone JUDGE DREDD, was the love interest named Marsha L. Law? It just feels like it should have been.

10.) At least BATMAN AND ROBIN was made in the past so we didn’t get the worst “Netflix and Chill” joke ever.

11.) A Scientologist strip club with a big neon sign “LIVE NUDE TERLS”.

12.) The number of times your site says not to forget to like it on facebook is inverse to the chances I will forget to like it on facebook.

13.) I want really tiny French loaves so I can buy a single Slim Jim at a gas station, put mustard on it and eat it like a hot dog in public.

14.) The universal sign for “juggling two options” looks like fondling two pendulous breasts because of some ancient prankster with a vision.

15.) Halfling sex is hobbit-forming.

16.) If wackos can make a conspiracy out of mishearing “contrail” as “chemtrail”, I demand they also believe there’s a “Human Gnome Project”.