May 20th through 24th Busy Weekend and Beyond in 2016

Friday the 20th I went to my voice teacher’s house for a rehearsal. It went well, though my throat was hurting a lot. It limited my singing ability. If anything, this is motivation to quit smoking. I got there around 7, but stayed late to talk to her and to her husband, so I didn’t get home until after 10. That was pretty much the extent of the day. Consulting my schedule, I determined that I COULD do Turandot, which made me so happy. However, this was not to be.
Saturday morning I got up and did Pathfinder with the gang, but had to leave early to get to rehearsal, as normal. Rehearsal was in the Bunka Center. My leg was still hurting, so standing around (in my sandals) was not especially helpful. I saw Hashiguchi San, and that was nice. I really feel like my Japanese is improving. Somehow. I think it mostly comes down to being more socially active and getting to use Japanese regularly these days. Well, after that, I went home, then it was time for guitar. Guitar went relatively well. I’d practiced a bit at the beginning of the week, but bad sleep and general blerghing kept me from practicing towards the end. It went well, though, and I got new music to practice. Now I need to listen to some new songs to try to learn them too. I need to buy a metronome. Maybe on Saturday I’ll go to the music store in Sendai and pick up a few things.
On Saturday night, I met up with Eitoku Sensei. There’s a little stretch of riverbank along the Sendai, right over by Yamasaki elementary. One bank is a steep cliff, and the other is a gently sloping flood plain. We got there early and I was wondering why THIS was the spot, but, there was no choice: it’s where we were supposed to be. I arrived at 5:30, half an hour before I was scheduled to be there, and Eitoku Sensei pulled in directly next to me, so I guess I timed it about perfectly. We waited in line for tickets, which took a long time, then we got some food. Curry rice and yakitori (think Japanese shish kebab). So good! Unfortunately, I’d had spicy ramen for lunch (to help my throat) and it was WAY over my calorie goals for the day. There was still a long wait for the boats to start, because it wasn’t dark yet. There was a local dance troupe that entertained us in the meantime. It’s an interesting . . . hybrid of hip hop and Japanese folk dance, it seems. Either that or Japanese folk dance is way more up-to-date and hardcore than I’d imagined. Finally, we got on the boat, and it was lovely. However, I found it hard to appreciate (as mentioned last night). I was just too preoccupied with other thoughts. I couldn’t focus, and I couldn’t appreciate things the way that I felt that I ought to. It’s disturbing, and it’s something I’ve been vaguely aware of, but this was a concrete smack-in-the-face which will hopefully bring about some reform.
After the ride, I tried to buy a bunch of Satsumaru merchandise (Satsumaru being the anthropomorphic mascot of the town). However, I seem to have spent a great deal of money without knowing where or when or how or why or on what, because I had to retrench a bit. There were no funds to secure the stuffed Satsumaru. Very sad. I did, however, manage to get buttons, and that was nice. I also got ten sheets of stickers, a cell phone fob (only now realizing that my phone can’t use one) and . . . probably something else. I think I know where to buy more now, and that’s important. Then, I went home, and at a reasonably decent hour, I went to sleep.
On Sunday, I got up and puttered about a bit. I’d slept relatively well, and that was a godsend. I finished my stockpile of cigarettes, smashed the last one, and sat about reflecting on how this sucks, but is necessary. More on that, and how it ties into yesterday’s entry, after the summary. Finally Matthew called and let me in on what I’d missed in the game when I’d left early. However, our connection kept derping, and, after one such incident, I got a call from Obara Sensei informing me that there was a pre-concert rehearsal happening at the Cultural Center. Sunday was, as I ought to have mentioned, the bi-annual Satsuma Cultural Festival (I think). From what I gathered at Eikaiwa on Monday, when the three towns, Satsuma, Tsuruda, and Miyanojo, merged to form modern Satsuma, each town kept its own cultural festival with a combined festival to be held every other year for all three in addition to the preexisting three. So, that’s why it, evidently, lasted all day (though I wasn’t aware, I found out about the duration from Sam). We sang three songs, and it was pretty uneventful. Though I was complimented by one of my Sempai, which always makes one happy. “Sempai noticed me!!!” and all that. Of course this Sempai is in his 70’s, but, you know, Sempai is Sempai.
Sadly, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to do Turandot. I’d consulted my schedule on Friday to see when the performance of the choir was, but, the schedule I was looking at was just the rehearsal schedule. It wasn’t the performance schedule. So, it looked like I had one week, but, in reality, I didn’t. So, I had to cancel. I still haven’t heard back from Yuuko Sensei, which is worrisome. I hope she’s not mad at me. I’m frustrated/sad/heartbroken at this because I REALLY wanted to do this. Nothing to be done now.
With opera rehearsal now sadly useless, I went back home on Sunday and did remarkably little before going to bed and sleeping relatively well.
Well, unless you count the grass adventure.
Having eaten a TON of unhealthy food trying to help my throat, I felt fat and disgusting (which, indeed, I am; especially then). So, I took out the kama and started to cut grass. At that time, a town worker came by to water the plants in the parking lot near me, and asked me if I wanted him to cut my grass. I told him yes and asked if I could pay him. He said no, so I gave him beer, which he accepted. He said one bottle, but I gave him three. Sam, who hadn’t touched his grass, chipped in two cans. Not a bad beer haul. Now we have huge mounds of grass around the yard. Not quite sure what to do with them. In the US, I’d burn them. Not sure about giant grass fires here, especially when I don’t have a hose in case things go awry. I tell you, man, I miss having a hose. So many times it’d be useful.
I was shocked at the sheer quantity of spiders fleeing from the grass. I talked to Sam about putting in a kind of graveled garden around our houses as a spider barrier, but . . . I get the feeling that I’d be the only one to maintain it, and I am already the busy one.
I’m incredibly busy, but, it seems wrong to complain about it because I’m busy with either things that I took on, or things that I don’t have to do. Technically, I only need to teach until 4:30 each day. The once weekly Saturday practices are advisable, but, they’re not required. Voice and guitar, with their mandated practice times, are optional. Exercises are optional. Tea is optional. Various events are optional. Sometimes I feel like I’m completely slammed, but, I’m slammed by choice. Seems unreasonable to bitch and moan about something that I can immediately just let go.
It was either Saturday or Sunday night where I had another romantic dream involving Arielle. I have no idea the significance of this, unless it’s just the, “Why not Sailor Moon,” from earlier. The girl made me happy, however lousy of a person she was. That’s more than I can say for a lot of good people. At the same time, a relationship would have been disastrous. She was pretty, ambitious, and not nearly as smart/clever/talented as she thought. I’m not into wife husbandry, and I don’t like the idea of finding a subpar girl and bringing her up in the world. Nope. Not a recipe for a good idea. Still, odd that I am having dreams about her.
Monday I woke up and felt human. I’d slept quite well the night before, and reasonably well before that. It’s amazing to me, simply amazing, how well I feel after what many people would call a mediocre night’s sleep. I had class at Riusui, which is the school I took over from Sam. It’s also the school where the Handsome President Oz persona is more successful. Naturally, it was enjoyable. The lunch was pretty bad, but the kids kept talking to me so much that I legitimately didn’t have time to finish. This was all fine and good because I was still full from Sunday.
After Riusui, I went straight to Eikaiwa. I killed some time at Riusui and got to Eikaiwa early so that I wouldn’t have to stop by the BOE in between, which would have been an annoying waste. It went well. A lady from the choir stopped by. I’d told her about Eikaiwa, and she was curious. She seemed a bit baffled, but, thankfully, there was a good amount of Japanese this week.
After that, I mostly cleaned at home. I did some guitar, but, mostly cleaning. I took dozens of empty bottles and stuck them in my bathtub to clean. That took a long time. There’s not a lot of progress, but, it’s because I’m doing the tiny detail stuff that I hate rather than the big gestures. What I need to do is to reorganize a lot of things. I want to free up table space so that I can study at my kitchen table. So, we’ll see what happens there. I feel well again today, and I hope that I continue to get stuff done. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I fell asleep too early, woke up, and struggled to get back to sleep. So, no going to bed that early again. Which is dumb. I hate my body.
Well, that about sums up the summary.
When it comes to smoking, I find the same thing that I found with vaping. What I like is not the nicotine or the feeling of the nicotine. It is the sensory experience of smoking. I like the smoke entering my throat. I like the taste. I like the smell. I like watching the smoke. It’s a sensory show that entertains an incredibly bored mind. It serves to alleviate the boredom that’s associated with other tasks. Cleaning? Well, clean while listening to something and experiencing something. Listening to music? Do this too. It’s something that I can deeply enjoy because of the sensory experience of it all. In the same way that I compulsively drink any liquid near me, I don’t feel that I’ve had enough. This is the second day without smoking, and I don’t have any of the symptoms that you’d expect. I’ve got cigars about incase I need nicotine due to a migraine (rainy season is coming), but, when I tried to smoke one, I just had no interest. It’s nicotine, sure, but it’s not the experience of inhaling. The sensory experience is SO much more addictive than the chemicals inside. I wish the hookah I’d bought didn’t suck and/or I could find decent hookah tobacco in Japan (not sure which, if not both, is the problem). Really, though, what strikes me is this NEED to be constantly stimulated in some way. It’s not good, it’s not healthy, and, if it’s normal, that’s society’s problem AND mine. What’s making me give it up is simply the fact that I’ve got to, but, more immediately, it’s interfering with singing. My throat is what I use all day for everything, and smoking (while filling out my low notes nicely) is hurting my upper range and ability to keep talking all day every day (as I need to).
Beyond that, there are still things that stress me out for not having accomplished, but I’ve tied those to, “After you’re done cleaning, do that,” so I’ve consolidated my worries and stresses into one specific thing (mostly). It’s easier to stress about one thing.
It’s terrifying to me, simply terrifying, that a few nights of decent sleep can do this much for me. I hate that my body is so idiotic.
Beyond that, I’m a bit excited to visit the US in August. It’ll be fun to have Simona there, and I hope we have a great time. Mostly I’m thinking about food, which is probably not the best idea.