520 in idea barrages

1.) Trump’s potential economic advisers are all like “DEREGULATORS! Moooooount up!”

2.) Build a giant Nerf locomotive and advertise that you need to hire a “software engineer/personal trainer” to drive it for you.

3.) Windows 10 is someone you politely turned down for a date checking in to see if you changed your mind every week for the rest of your life.

4.) I don’t wanna have to tell a generation of post-atomic mutants “yeah, World War 3 started because some religious nutjob hijacked a plane”.

5.) Listeria needs a new name that makes it sound like the awful disease it is not a fragrant white flower.

6.) Discover your perfect corn meal preparation on eHominy.

7.) New glasses! I can see out of the left side of my head again! Thanks to my folks who helped me with what the insurance didn’t cover.

8.) The major problem with McDonalds McPick promotion is that it sounds too much like “dick pic”, a similar image of disappointing meat.

9.) facebook honestly believes I was sitting around chewing my nails worried if the fat guy from PAWN STARS was getting jail time or not.

10.) Before all the time travel, Marty McFly DID look like Eric Stolz. The recasting wasn’t a bug, it was a feature.

11.) In the nu-Trek where they & the Beastie Boys both exist the line in “Intergalactic Planetary” is “like a slap on the ass from Dr. Spock”.

12.) Only in America could the match of fascism be lit on celebrity worship & the belief that the born-rich are innately our betters.

13.) Nostalgia is the methadone to the opiate of really living and, brother, the clinic doors have been shuttered.