48 in idea barrages

1.) “Well, I don’t understand why I sleep all day and I start to complain when there’s no brains” is a fine start to a zombie song.

2.) If you’re Rob Zombie and you’re gonna have your own line of candy, you better call it Astro Pop 2000.

3.) I just want a lobbyist to say, on the record, “but if there is campaign finance reform, it will be harder to bribe them!”

4.) You are officially notified that you are a washed-up child star when you receive your letter of Malcolm-Jamal Warning.

5.) There is a graveyard of half-finished rap parodies in my computer because rap lyrics are, like, fifty thousand words long.

6.) If you’re going to make a horror movie about a sentient or demonic yogurt, at least call it “Culture of Fear”.

7.) “A Tale of Two Fieris” begins “It was the zesty fries, it was a burst of thyme…“

8.) The veil between reality & fiction, the veil between reality & madness, they’re different but look astonishingly similar. Watch out!

9.) Good work only a few may see is better than success for its own sake. If you don’t feel that way, you’re doing the wrong thing.

10.) When I was a child, a vaporizer would’ve been a zap gun now it’s a cigarette that looks like R2-D2’s wang and something is lost.

11.) Looking for knock-off sunglasses from the kind of company that’d create fake facebook profiles to advertise but I can’t find them ANYWHERE.

12.) Sure, you can get your mind out of the gutter but the other option is to let your body join it there & then the real fun starts.

13.) I don’t need a helper monkey but I’d love a co-dependence monkey who’d just sit by me and tell me everything I do is amazing.

14.) The android designer wasn’t flirting when he made eyes at you, he was just doing his job.

15.) I like to pretend that Tom Selleck starred in a show called Magnum Three-Point-One-Four.

16.) For Bennett “I Left My Heart In San Francisco” is a love song to a city. For Frankenstein it is a recurring nightmare.

17.) I hope upon reading the script to the Batman movie he was in, Arnold went to the writer and said “Icy what you did there.”

18.) Maybe the song is actually “Don’t Stop, Be Leaving” like… no no, keep going, your exit pleases me greatly.

19.) If a fission reaction is imminent, just soothe the irritated particles with an atomic balm.

20.) In retrospect, the most honest love letter I could ever write would be “You are beautiful because you treat me like an infallible genius.”