319 in idea barrages

1.) The things that you think you are beautiful in spite of are the things that actually make you beautiful.

2.) There is a direct correlation between childhood exposure to “The Charlie Brown Christmas” and loving the sound of drum brushes on cymbals.

3.) When someone really stoned is trying to pretend they’re not buying those screens to smoke pot, it’s the bonus show to your lottery purchase.

4.) Gin is actually an old Norse word meaning “vodka ruined by a bunch of goddamned herbs”.

5.) Just once in a cop show I want them to say “I’ve got your warrant right here!” and then they pull out a boombox playing “Cherry Pie”.

6.) Napoleon had no idea what the fortuneteller meant when told he would meet his end at Abba Song.

7.) “Jokes about Warrant and ABBA?” he asked of his timeline “Christ, you’re right on the pulse of the popular culture, aren’t you?”

8.) She wanted “I Am Woman” as her entrance music but Reddy or not, here she comes.

9.) If they both live long enough, Mark Hamill and William H Macy will vector into looking like identical twins, it’s just a fact of science.

10.) Snowflakes in the air but if they melt when they hit the ground they don’t count. Same as some consider artists who can’t go pro, I guess.

11.) Obstructionism in Congress isn’t a bargaining tactic, it’s an end goal. They believe we should be ruled by priests or businessmen not gov’t.

12.) They say making pasta is easy but much of the work is draining.

13.) Sometimes a “bad” thing isn’t even bad, it’s just that too much crowds out the good things. “Bad” things like empty calories or solitude.

14.) If I magically knew when & how I die but couldn’t change it, I’d make sure to leave many fake clues it was a conspiratorial assassination.

15.) The scandal at the Land O Lakes headquarters was all sparked by one complaint to the Butter Business Bureau.

16.) Shoplifting one cassette single of “Out In The Great Wide Open” spurred an entire lifetime of petty theft.