311 in idea barrages

1.) In my dreams, whenever I go to a movie, time folds and I forget everything in the film and have to pretend I saw it for the duration.

2.) That trailer for Captain America has me saying “Underoos!” triumphantly all day.

3.) Even if you love Utica, there are two days to clear out of anywhere near Utica: St. Patrick’s Day and Boilermaker.

4.) Not the weirdest person on Twitter but strive to be the weirdest person on Twitter who uses his real name. We all have goals.

5.) If you’re gonna privatize witness protection, at least call it Disappearing Inc.

6.) Convince someone that H.P. Lovecraft’s initials stood for “Hewlett Packard”.

7.) The pirate themed softcore on Cinemax wasn’t NC-17 but it was certainly a hard R.

8.) Some days I’ll flip myself a double bird in the mirror to remind myself not to overthink things. “Take things seriously but not yourself!”