310 in idea barrages

1.) John Cena’s always wiping his nose as he takes the stage, he should have the money to get his sinuses looked at.

2.) If you’re in a pinch during a role playing session, yell “FEATS DON’T FAIL ME NOW!”

3.) If an obnoxious rich guy is hitting on you online, call him Thirstin’ Howell the Third. He won’t get it but that’ll be half the fun.

4.) Some health club should get a tie-in to the X-Men Apocalypse movie with the slogan “Survival of the Fitness”.

5.) Being prolific is about accepting half of what you churn out is terrible, another third is just okay & just the last 17% is worth repeating.

6.) If you pretend to confuse the Nazgul and NASCAR, you have a way to offend two rabid fanbases with almost no overlap.

7.) Here’s an anniversary to make you feel old: twenty years of pretending Weezer didn’t put out any albums after Pinkerton.

8.) This weekend, when you get drunk and humiliate yourself pretending to be Irish for St Pats, the term is “ginger fail”.