126 in idea barrages

1.) Trump’s just mainstream G.O.P. I mean Cheney shot a guy and he stayed in power.

2.) I snuck a small Bowie reference into my tribute poem to Roger Smith, I hope neither of them minded.

3.) Our generation set the record for unrealized potential and, as the Guinness photos were taken, we wished the next one well in its breaking.

4.) A Foo Fighters song about learning to fry. Possibly whole turkey.

5.) Weirdly the only way to get past narcissism is to learn to ACTUALLY like yourself and not wallow in a kabuki of over-confidence.

6.) No point in writing a parody of Stairway to Heaven about 7-11. The nearest one is I think East Syracuse.

7.) FAKE FACT: The phrase “sticky wicket” refers to how popular erotic Ewok fiction is in Great Britain.

8.) I have enough coffee in my veins to be a literal mudblood so where are my magical powers?

9.) Those all in one microwave veggies, they shouldn’t call ‘em “Steambags”, that sounds like a weird tamed-down insult.

10.) Slenderman is just Santa Claus eating bad children to get his weight back up for Christmas.

11.) At least they never did a version of “The Humpty Dance” about Grumpy Cat. As a culture we have the small victory.

12.) If you want to talk about irony, Monopoly was stolen from its creator through tricky lawyering.

13.) Oh cell phone companies, if Star Trek Nemesis has taught us anything, there’s no such thing as unlimited Data.

14.) I wonder if I have a tiny FBI file for associating with Occupy Wall Street.

15.) They want proof of your college diploma mostly to prove you’re over the barrel to pay loans so you’ll be desperate even for bad pay.

16.) We could simplify a lot of store signs if instead of “Open & Closed” it was “Open & Nopen”.

17.) When the history of the Democratic primaries is written, there’ll be Hilary and Bernie and Martin O’Mitted.

18.) I like to pretend that DDR doesn’t mean “Dance Dance Revolution” but rather “Diamond Dallas RAGE”.