January 20th-22nd in 2016

The demo at Eshin went well enough. I ganbatte’d it like woah, and I even impressed Matsumoto, which is not a thing that generally happens. Really, though, my teacher was the star. I just followed her lead. It went quite well, though. However, such levels of ganbatte-ing result in some difficulties. Namely that I felt truly awful when I was done. I dragged myself back to Miyachuu and waited for death or 4:30, not caring which came first.
4:30 did, and I went home. I was counting the minutes until 6. Hunger was finally winning out over stomach pangs, and, as I hadn’t eaten in twenty five hours by the time I got home, I figured that gyoza and ramen were a decent idea. While at home, a lovely neighbor, whose name escapes me but who was also the man who dragged me to the Himawarikan concert, came by with a bag of real life Wakayama mikan! They were gone within minutes. Then dinner. This was a breaking of decent dietary protocols, but . . . so be it. Then dinner. Then a return.
I binged on Star Trek and couldn’t sleep when it was time to sleep. I hadn’t napped, just done some laundry, for fear of being unable to sleep. Well, fat lot of good that did me that night. In retrospect, a nap would have been helpful.
Yesterday, the 21st, I woke up feeling better than I’d felt in a while. It was a good feeling. Naturally. So, I ate breakfast. It was only after the hubris of this action that my downfall was complete. I should not have angered the gods of feeling sick and terrible by the hideous, blind, proud, effrontery, of presuming to have an almond soy-joy bar and 200ml of milk. The shame was mine! Well, upon arriving at Miyanojo, I quickly went downhill. It became abundantly clear that I was a wreck. When I finished all of my work for the day and been informed that I had no classes, I went back to the hospital. I’ve not got heartburn adding to my migraine. I ate more than I should have yesterday. I regret this. I also took a nap. This I do not regret. Man it was amazing to sleep.
Last night, I was actually awake for a minor muscle pull in my pectoral muscle. I sleep so fitfully, move so much, and find comfort in such hideous positions that I’ve long had a bad habit of pulling muscles in my sleep. Last night, I was awake for it for the first time. It makes a lot of sense. Thankfully, it wasn’t bad. I also had a truly interesting dream worthy of interpretation and thought that I’ve got on my laptop and not on this tablet, so it’ll be posted later.
I got up today at 7, unsure of my total sleep lately. The FitBit has been behaving strangely regarding my sleep. It doesn’t seem to be as accurate as normal, something that was already a bit suspect. So, while I know that I didn’t get 8 hours last night, I’m unsure of how much I got yesterday. However, even Hirayama noticed how tired I look this morning.
In dealing with Hirayama this morning, I was proud that I remembered, more or less, something that I’d learned and am struggling with. When I was a kid, I often was sick. Or, at the very least, felt sick. My mother never believed me. I wish that she had. So, any time anything was wrong, I had to worsen it in order for it to be even considered. It never occurred to her to take general complaints seriously. Even when we had money and I had insurance. Well, when sick, I’ve generally had a bad habit of going into “the lady doth protest too much methinks” territory. I remembered something today: I’m telling the truth, I have a doctor’s note, and Hirayama likes, respects, and trusts me. At the very least, he trusts me. Getting over mommy issues, yay Japan.
I’m teaching at Yamasaki today, which is mixed. It’s my favorite school, but it’s also the school worst to go to when sick. I don’t feel 100%, and I usually give those kids over 100%. I’m usually in pain after that school from overworked muscles.
Ate a big breakfast today, which wasn’t a good idea, but I’m going to see if they’ll just give me rice for lunch. That should about even it out. Sadly, nothing that I like is stuff the doctor says I should eat. Ate a ton of popcorn last night and my stomach is mad at me today.
I feel like a pansy complaining about the weather. On the surface of it, it’s not that cold. However, it seems to be colder in my apartment than it is outside. Yesterday, as I waited for the space heater to work, I was wearing long underwear, pajamas, a sweat suit, a bath robe, and a hanten in addition to my long soccer socks (no skin gap!) and fingerless gloves. I was still cold, but I couldn’t fit anything else on. I had to take some off to sleep because I couldn’t move.
This weekend I’ve got the New Year’s tea. That means that tomorrow I’ve got to go to Sensei’s house and to help her clean. That’ll be interesting. It also means I’ve got to give her a present of roughly US$50. Well, that’s fine. Next year, it’ll be twice that. I need to contact Kimono Sensei about clothes for Sunday. I just haven’t felt mentally competent to make that phone call. I’m flat broke ATM after buying car. It’s payday today, which literally could not have waited much longer
Well, here’s to a new day. Let’s make it work.