114 in idea barrages

1.) One myth about militia douches is they call themselves “minutemen” because of revolutionary history as opposed to their sexual dysfunction.

2.) Mainstream successful bands never really “break up”, they are merely temporarily rich enough to entertain their individual egos.

3.) If you sell a line of organic condoms to hipsters, make sure to note the good-natured ribbing.

4.) When you’ve eaten all the clown steaks, don’t throw out the bones! Those can be used to make a fine laughing stock!

5.) There’s symmetry to it, Sanders is the strong preference of voters under 45, Trump the preference of voters with IQs under 45.

6.) She gave birth to conjoined twin centaurs and ever since they called her the REAL Octomom.

7.) You have no right to tell a slug monster how many frogs he or she should eat, that’s just hutt-shaming.

8.) You know what would be a really bad game show? Wheel Of 4Chan.

9.) Kylo rebelled to the dark side because his father would always put his friend ahead of his family. He did it all for the wookie.

10.) I don’t wanna be the one who explains to aliens why youtube is just people putting on make-up and pretending to be scared by video games.

11.) Is there any word shortening that sounds stupider spoken out loud unironically than “celeb”? Celeb. Jesus!

12.) That point where you’re like “if I ever have the opportunity to have sex again, will I even remember how?”

13.) I want post-punk bands that sing about Dungeons & Dragons called “Bardcore”. AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN.

14.) To the tune of Livin’ On A Prayer: “Whoa, I don’t really care, who-oa, so I’m sending thoughts and prayers!”

15.) An EDM deejay who is also a furry called Squirrelex.

16.) A parody of Oasis about Bernie Sanders “Champlain Supernova”.