January 12th and 13th in 2016

January 12th and 13th
Yesterday was a very productive day. I wrote quote a bit in prosebox, I studied quite a bit on Anki, I went for a long walk, I cleaned the house a bit, I stayed under my calorie goal, I did some calligraphy, and I practiced guitar. The day went pretty well, partly, because I had no classes to do. Well, normally I don’t like that, but, on that day, it worked well for me.
I got home faster than normal because I’d driven (a waste, but sometimes I’m in a hurry). Then, I immediately changed clothes and played the guitar for twenty minutes, something that will now become part of the routine. I then went on a walk. The intention was to do a two hour walk, but two things stopped me. Firstly, I got a call from Kazumi asking me to drop by and pick up my car, and the fact that, by the time I’d gotten home, my legs hurt. Well, I’m just getting back into exercise after a month off, and I’m doing the same distance I did before. I think it may take two weeks to get me up to the point where I can extend what I was doing. Next week I’m going to add light weight training. Anyway, I got to Kazumi’s shop, and, apparently, I needed a different bit of paperwork than I’d thought. So, I’ll now get my car on Thursday. I’m excited. Kind of. I mean, it’s expensive, but I think I’ll finally be able to travel around a lot more. Then, it was time to clean up quite a bit. On my drive, I found that today was non burnable day. I couldn’t even take all of my garbage because I was ashamed of how much I’ve got. However, this morning, as always, I still messed up the various divisions of garbage. I just can’t figure this all out. Still, quite a bit has been removed from my kitchen. More to go out tonight. Within two weeks, the place will be a lot cleaner. Well, after that, I settled down to watch some Star Trek on the couch and wait for a, hopefully, easy slumber. That slumber arrived far, FAR, later than it should have. Possibly because of the beer? I don’t understand: Normally beer makes me really sleepy, but I find that, in Japan, I tend to get an elevated heart rate. No clue.
Dinner was good, and relatively healthy. Two 7-11 Caesar Salads and then an 8 piece sushi sampler from Plasse. It was nice to say hello to the cashier I like. She’s something like a great aunt to me, but, one that I actually like and who actually likes me. I had hoped to buy a big tea thermos, like I had in China, a multi liter one, but I couldn’t find one downstairs, and I didn’t have the time (I felt for some reason) to go upstairs into general goods and search. I guess that’s on the itinerary for tonight, possibly. I wonder how I’m going to get everything set up considering Eikaiwa tonight. I want to skip, but I need to say hi to the ladies. Especially Kyoko who I need Tea Ceremony’s time from.
The temperature in my house is bizarre and frustrating. I will bundle up, and freeze, when I try to sleep, but, for some dumb reason, around 3 AM it always ends up being vastly too hot. I was shivering in a sweatsuit, pajamas, and under two blankets with the kotatsu running (with no blanket over it) in a closed room. This morning, I was soaked with sweat. Oh thermostats, I miss you.
I got up this morning at 6:30, decided that I wasn’t going to get up, and went back to sleep for half an hour. Well, probably closer to fifteen minutes. I’m annoyed that it’s so difficult to get back onto the 6 AM rise time I’d set for myself for a while, especially when Monday night seemed to be so promising for a schedule reset. Well, morning routine aside, then the garbage dump. However, I got a message from Hirayama Sensei that does not bode well for me and is, in fact, hanging a shadow over this entire day.
As part of the JET Program, I’m entitled to take free online Japanese courses. I’m also STRONGLY encouraged by my local BOE. However, under even ideal circumstances, I hate online classes. These circumstances are NOT ideal. I just figured out how to use the website today as I tried to rush through two months of back tests to get it finished in time. See, Hirayama Sensei had messaged me about that. Turns out, I’ve got four months, which is odd, because I don’t even think the thing started until October and I’ve already taken two tests! So, I scrambled through a few, thinking I was only two months behind, before realizing the situation. I’ve come clean to Hirayama: I’d just forgotten to take some tests, and thought I was only a little bit behind, when, in fact, this whole session was a wash. Hopefully I can retake it. It’s frustrating, but, if he’s not too upset, and if I can retake, it’ll be good for me. I really need to study this stuff more seriously. I wish that I’d hit the ground running in Japan. I think maybe I did, but I had a month of nothing before I had anywhere to run, and I had another month of nothing before classes started. I think. But I digress.
My entries yesterday have proven to be the most popular things I’ve ever written on PB. It amazes me when people read this, and, I suppose that personal stories and emotional plumbing probably makes more entertaining reading than lists of what I’ve done and not done in a given day. This worries me a bit, because if I know that I’ve got an audience, I tend to pander to them. Still, knowing that people read (other than my three dedicated readers) is a good feeling in and of itself. It’s encouraging. I suppose the only thing to do is to take and use the encouragement and to be aware of the traps that I know I’m prone to falling into.
Well, it’s nearly lunch. They’re serving it up in the office as I speak. I really don’t feel like eating it. My stomach hurts from stress, hunger, and lack of sleep. Still, I’ve got to eat with the kids, and I’ve got to do a lot of stuff.
I’m smiling now. I’ve found a good habit.
It’s a struggle. It’s a fight. And I’m not my enemy, the whole universe is. I’ve got to fight everything about existence to make myself master of it. The more is thrown at me, the more I find things to be difficult, the harder I’ve got to fight back. I’ve got to keep my goals short term and reasonable, for the moment, but I’ve got to chase after them harder than ever before. So, yeah, let it come. Let the day come. Let each annoying skirmish hit me, and let me feel the minor pangs that wear without killing. So be it. Each cut numbs me, prepares me for the struggle ahead. Each step through the briars strengthen my muscles and clear my mind. Every day IS a struggle, no matter how simple, if one wants to live a good life. So, let me relish in my small victories. I have plenty of small battles. Call it petty, if you will. It’s not an end in itself. It’s a preparation. For what? We’ll see.