16 in idea barrages

1.) The trick is to wait until March or April to go to the gym twice then give up so no one treats you like a January-Only.

2.) It’s weird. It’s right there that it’s about a well-regulated militia then whenever someone even talks about BASIC regulation they flip out.

3.) If people 3-D printed Rey tokens for Star Wars Monopoly, it might look so bad for Disney to sue that even DISNEY wouldn’t sue.

4.) A website where you crowd-source your hair cuts and hair styling called “Partreon”.

5.) Let’s get a bunch of stoner forest rangers to occupy the Reagan Library, show them how THEY like it. C’mon we know a lot of SUNY-ESF peeps.

6.) I want a mash-up of Evil Woman/All Along The Watchtower and I want it on my desk by 5PM Friday. AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

7.) My aesthetic is depressed shut-in who shops JCPenney Big & Tall catalog but my personality is Coyote, god of instructive chaos.

8.) Star Wars, why is every single Mandalorian a bounty hunter? That’s an awful economic model. Someone’s gotta be an accountant.

9.) In my world, all those reality shows you hate-watch because you think it’s your patriotic duty don’t exist. All long canceled. Join me here.

10.) I am the kind of person who has to talk myself out of writing a parody of Steely Dan’s “Black Cow” about Batman’s cowl.

11.) It’s Honey Boo Boo and Honey Boo Boo in THE PARENT TARP.

12.) Someday Fox News will have a knock-off storytelling series for their target audience “The Meth”.

13.) You shouldn’t go to the Herkimer County Fair if you’re dairy-princess-intolerant.

14.) They torture you tied up to a big iron circle but they trick you by saying you’re just going for a ride on a ferrous wheel.

15.) Barney was very manipulative to get Cocoa Pebbles, often crying chocodile tears.

16.) Everytime a kaftan is mentioned, I sing about it to the Batman theme in my head.

17.) They don’t have Quinceanera in Scandinavia but they do throw Swede Sixteen parties.

18.) Felix is totally sick of the winter and wants a ticket for a one-way flight to Meowi.

19.) If I ever meet a lady really into Masters Of The Universe, my deep knowledge of the subject would reel her in hook, line and Stinkor.

20.) Sure, some day we’ll have a hoverboar. WHEN PIGS FLY.

21.) I love rock music but I’m way too old for a multi-day festival in a tent in the desert. Call me back when it’s Couchella.

22.) Beauty & the Beast’s uplifting message: as long as you’re rich enough someone might wait around until you’re conventionally attractive.