14 in idea barrages

1.) Believe in anything you can’t prove too much and pretty soon, you’re a hammer & everything that disagrees is a nail. Don’t believe too much.

2.) Barney from the Flintstones’ reckless youth is covered in the episode RUBBLE WITHOUT A CAUSE.

3.) If you self-published screeds about your crush on the lead in GHOST WORLD and didn’t call it “ThoraZine” you did the ‘90s wrong.

4.) A parody of “Mr. Crowley” about Mr. Coffee would only be, like, thirty years too late.

5.) To paraphrase Men In Black 2 of all things, you haven’t given up because America is failing, America is failing because you’ve given up.

6.) It would’ve been at least 17% more interesting had it been CHARO’S IN CHARGE.

7.) Not everyone suffered from the potato famine, of course, some people were protected by their blight privilege.

8.) We need a Hasidic Cure cover band called “Goys Don’t Cry”.

9.) If SquareOne TV was still around, MathNet would’ve evolved into the lurid graphic NUMERICAL ORDER: MATHEMATIC VICTIMS UNIT.

10.) Is there a fan video of “Somewhere That’s Green” from Little Shop with Luke Skywalker yet?

11.) If you can win a little money at the casino then walk away because you know you won, you’ll probably be good at commitment.

12.) Form an intermittent band that only plays in Brooklyn, only covers King Crimson King Diamond and King Missile called “The Kings of Kings”.

13.) How many pop songs would have totally different meanings if you transposed “maybe” and “baby” in every single hit?

14.) I wish there was a Batman to run in and take down these militia idiots with boomerangs while providing the gov’t plausible deniability.

15.) I figure my invite to Xavier’s School For The Gifted was lost one of the 50,000 times their mansion was blown up.

16.) An Italian Mormon and a Native American, both with weather powers, battle to the death. Bigamist Vs. Apache Fog. It’ll be great.

17.) Build your car from Sufi poetry. It won’t go fast but it’ll be incredibly Rumi.