1230 in idea barrages

1.) If the theme of your prom is anti-hipster, pin flowers made out of bread to your dates, call them Gluteneers.

2.) I’m just a “Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Chill” man in a “Netflix and Chill” world.

3.) Oh yeah, cat, I’m great fun to lie on until I start sneezing, then I’m an earthquake with a face.

4.) I came to do two things: be a pacifist and chew bubble gum and I have an infinite supply of bubblegum.

5.) The snow is back and I remember why I didn’t miss it.

6.) Mansplaining is done in academia through the practice of mannotation. It’s somehow even worse!

7.) Most professional training begins with an entrance exam but for an OB-Gyn, it ends with one.

8.) One great way to troll is when people ask you what Harry Potter house you are, say “Hubba-Bubba” like you really mean it.

9.) The path to being a toll booth operator begins with an exit interview.

10.) I hate the term “basic bitch” as it’s sexist by default but I am, in general, opposed to the aggressively normal of all genders.

11.) It’s too bad that Stormtroopers became the en masse Star Wars cosplay or else we could’a had Hans Across America.

12.) You can’t have more prequels than you have follow-up stories, not if you wanna maintain sequelibrium.

13.) If Guns N Roses AND MST3K are both back in the land of the living, does that mean it’s 1992 again?

14.) I still await the montage when a number of random odd things I’ve learned all pay off in sequence & something amazing happens.

15.) Mark Hamill just gave eBay sellers a class in how to forge his autograph better. Twitter is WEIRD, you guys.

16.) I am hoping the new big playground insult is “Your mother monetizes her Twitter!”

17.) Record a series of emo covers of Ben Folds songs as The Kylo Ren Folds Five.