1229 in idea barrages

1.) If a Stormtrooper landed on a bed of peanut noodles, it’d be a Pad Thai TIE pad.

2.) If the warm-up to your set is someone shooting ping-pong balls out of their ass or vadge, that’s an opening act opening act.

3.) I hate “winter weather advisories”. Vague much? It’s winter, literally any weather we have is winter weather, jerks.

4.) If kids not quite teens are called “tweens” what about us old people? Can I call myself an ain’t-teen year old?

5.) Interestingly, the Weekly World News disappeared right around when we started taking obviously-made-up conspiracy theories seriously.

6.) I think the only potential retro-video-game/pop-culture mash-up we have left to make is SUPER ALLMAN BROTHERS so get on that, internet.

7.) The stand-out single in the Dave Matthews Band’s cover of “Carmina Burana” is of course the song “Bro Fortuna”.

8.) The copyright on the stag reels had lapsed and they were now in the pubic domain.

9.) Take the socially-constructed false dichotomies you struggled with, explore & embrace them, you will find empathy, you’ll find compassion.

10.) People who believe facebook’s CEO will give them money just for sharing a post are a bunch of Zuckers.

11.) A role-playing horror movie, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMONER.

12.) If the Catholic model of the afterlife is correct and I’m only a little bit bad, I think my purgatory limbo would be lost in an IKEA.

13.) For people addicted to terrible autumnal coffee drinks the other nine months of the year, there is The Pumpkin Patch.

14.) Long before the advent of Weird Twitter, baby, we were just weird.

15.) If Pabst got a blue ribbon, can you imagine how bad the beers that DIDN’T get awards where?