barragemas eve in idea barrages

1.) Ahab aimed at its mouth with a gun, he fought the maw and the maw won, he fought the maw and the maw won…

2.) Nightmare about the interplay of creation & entropy analogized thru an infinite regression of the DC universe’s changes? Thanks melatonin.

3.) A “No Smoking” sign with smaller print underneath “I Guess You Can Vape But You’re Gonna Look Silly As Hell, You Shouldn’t”.

4.) My current favourite cultural mash-up premise is the character Charles Bronson Honeydew.

5.) If you have pretentious beer snob friends, you better have written “Saison’s Greetings” in the card.

6.) Because I’m all about that base, all about that base, all about that base, Starkiller…

7.) I want a version of Rudolph’s origin where it was that Cyclops had sex with a reindeer while delusional in the Alaskan wastes.

8.) If you don’t like aardvark pictures on your timeline, just get Firefox and then an aardblock extension.

9.) Since heavy metal is classical music in Trek times I want some warrior to claim he only likes “And Justice For All” in the original Klingon.

10.) I hope wherever they make the frozen McDonalds burger patties, they make the “Grind Control to Major Ron” joke a LOT.

11.) The only thing in my head canon that remains from the prequels is that young Obi-Wan looked and sounded like Ewan MacGregor.

12.) Hipsters have man-buns, MRAs have Munn bans, both are terrible.

13.) Is there some obscure law we could use to jail the people who made that goddamn Geico Peter Pan ad?

14.) Someone please write “Bill & Ted’s Long Day’s Bogus Journey Into Night”.

15.) There are folk who won’t watch wrestling “because it’s fake” but still watch political debates and the Golden Globes. shrug

16.) If they ever remake Victor/Victoria, you know some jerk is gonna wanna retitle it “Surprise Entrance”.

17.) To make erotic cakes one must first acquire a peter pan.