1211 in idea barrages

1.) “In Soviet Russia, mic drops YOU!” would be the most meta mic drop line ever.

2.) 83% of memes built around the premise “oh man, this person’s text/tweet/facebook post is hilariously ignorant” were just someone trolling.

3.) Phantom Menace isn’t Star Wars 1, it’s Star Wars -3. Clones is Star Wars -2, etc. (Star Wars 0 is the Holiday Special.)

4.) The arts are a path to compassion and understanding, that’s why The Bastards want them out of school, nothing to do with tax money. They still fund the hell out of the violence-enabling human sacrifice that’s football that reinforces their agenda.

5.) Lawn ornaments deflated until nightfall. Santa’s way hungover.

6.) I want success but am terrified of all the downsides I’ve seen come attached to success, same way I feel about madness, I guess. I want to like myself but am terrified of the ass I’ve been at times when I had self-confidence, I fear it wasn’t coincidence. I think my writing is probably good but I’ve had so much training in picking apart writing that I can only see where I’ve failed. A generation where it was pounded into our head “YOU’RE NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE”. By the odds, it must’ve shut down a few who actually were. Christ, maybe I was one of them.

7.) Here’s a title for a science fiction love story: “In Cygnus And In Health”. You’re welcome.

8.) Hipster moms! Hipster kids come runnin’ for the pretentious taste of Serial The Cereal!

9.) The internet has disappointed me with no Henry Winkler mash-ups about “The Fonz Awakens”.

10.) RESOLVED: even if you love “Good Eats” as much as I do, the episodes with the “adorable” “nephew” were borderline unwatchable.

11.) By second guessing they meant thinking twice, not rethinking every single second?