1210 in idea barrages

  • Dec. 9, 2015, 10 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) Even if I was ever into hibbity-jibbity I can’t imagine casting the I-Ching, I’d feel too much like a Batman villain.

2.) Whenever I read a “Mens Rights Activist” online, I imagine him talking in Brainy Smurf’s voice.

3.) “Make like a pair of self-altering pants and let yourself out!”

4.) Literally now literally means anything you want it to mean and that’s literally weird.

5.) Do people vape into bread?

6.) I miss when the joke about A&E was that it was all WW2 documentaries instead of crap reality television. We had it so good!

7.) There’s nothing more toxic to the progress of a civil society than the idea we can just opt-out, hiding behind weapons faith or loopholes.

8.) Nothing like folk who wax poetic about 2nd Amendment for hours but tell ‘em 1st Amendment protects religious expression they go “LALALALA!”

9.) People speak from time to time of the horrors of explosive diarrhea but, really, implosive diarrhea sounds SO much worse.

10.) Holiday dessert induced diabetes is the wrath of pecan.

11.) You can argue it’s more feminist for Leia to be the leader of an army than waving a wand and using magic. From a… certain point of view.

12.) It’s like a can of fake snakes labeled as mixed nuts but to scare hipsters so instead gluten jumps out at them.

13.) The names of facebook bots trying to be my friend by using a moderately attractive lady as the profile picture are getting weirder and weirder. Edwige? Perrin? What a strange approach.

14.) As bad as things seem, at least Harry Knowles no longer has a whit of cultural relevance and that’s one for the win column.

15.) It would’ve been a lot funnier if they had called ARROW “OLIVER AND COMPANY” instead.

16.) Set up shop as a consultant to people opening up strip bars. Call your enterprise “Grind Your Own Business”.


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