127 in idea barrages

1.) We wouldn’t have Taco Tuesday at the cafeteria for my super-villain underlings, though there would be henchiladas.

2.) From a certain point of view, America had kneecapped Tonya Harding from the start and she was just trying to level the world for once.

3.) The next time the sex is inadequate, right afterward, say “LIKED COMMENTED AND SUBSCRIBED” reeeeeeeeally sarcastically.

4.) fb trending told me a film exists, a tv show happened & a minor celebrity’s brother supports her ad. it’s STILL better than twitter moments.

5.) You ever just wanna go to a crappy Greek diner in Queens? Man, I don’t know, the only times you want to are the times you can’t.

6.) “Mid-Season Finale”, you jackals, when will it be “Quarter-Season Finale”? When will it be “This Week Finale”?

7.) If we’re lucky or unlucky enough to spend too much time in self-examination, we all become extended metaphors for ourselves.

8.) Only 19 more days until hipsters stop talking about how Die Hard is their favourite Christmas movie!

9.) “Simply having a wonderful Christmastime”? That sounds dismissive, passive-aggressive and suspicious. What are you hiding, Paul?

10.) A tabletop public radio fundraising simulator called Totebags & Taxbreaks.

11.) Sung to LUCY AND LINUS’S JAZZ THEME: “all the cute girls have got boyfriends, round this place, round this place…“

12.) Get an athletic supporter with a crimson-tinged Millennium Falcon on it. Refer to it as your red Solo cup. Win everything.