1112 in idea barrages

1.) The best part about being rich would be buying bit parts in crowd funded movies by the dozen and being known as “THAT Weirdo”.

2.) My parody of the Flintstones theme about Bob Marley only has the line “from the town of Dreadlock” so far but WHAT A LINE.

3.) If you hook up with someone inappropriately young on J-Date, people will say you’re robbing the dreidel.

4.) How messed up do you have to be to make STARBUCKS look like the good guy? STARBUCKS. THE WAL-MART OF HIPSTER THINGS.

5.) One of my fondest memories ever was when my pop took a half-day to see Kurt Vonnegut speak at SU with me. Happy birthday, Kurt.

6.) Happy Armistice Day. May we figure out a way to end war other than ending the human race through war.

7.) When a bro claims his favourite Christmas movie is “Die Hard”, just compliment him on his fedora/neckbeard and slowly back away.

8.) An avant-garde home decorating store called Deconstruction Hardware. It challenges the notions of what a drawer-handle can be.

9.) “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” is only worth it if they open up a metalworking shop called My Big Fat Greek Welding in it.

10.) Nobody hates children more than adults desperately clinging to their childhood, it’s weird. It’s like “childhood is MINE, dammit!”

11.) Pepsico’s looking to ride the evangelical anti-Starbucks wave with its new What Would Jesus Dew.

12.) It’s fine that you like Wookie Jerky but, personally, I think it’s a little chewy.