3rd Republican Debate. in The Napkin.

Trump is like the bully everybody listens to. Meaning when everyone is talking over each other, if he says “Hey, you’ll get your turn” they suddenly shut up. Good start out of the gate.

I almost feel bad for Jeb Bush, he got totally shut down by Marco Rubio. While I laugh at the “media bias” against him, Rubio has a point that criticism of his missing votes in the senate is misguided, as plenty of others haven’t had the same criticism.

Fiorina owned again over the failure of HP.

Ted Cruz: “This is not a cage match.” Oh man, but if it were, I’d watch the hell out of it. The rest of his rant was whining over the debate, while ignoring the question.

I hate Chris Christie but I like how he addresses the camera.

Take a shot every time a candidate is asked a question and then stump speeches on something unrelated.

Fiorina must have taken her stupid pills if she thinks Hillary/Obama is “bad for women.” Says the person who wants to regulate uteruses.

Carson says in one breath that he thinks marriage is between one man and one woman and that they aren’t the enemy of the gays. ..... That’s some high level hypocracy. (He’s made it clear he thinks being gay is a choice.)

Moderator calls out Carson on his lack of judgement and the moderator gets booed. It’s a fair question.

Trump burns the moderator.

Trump says he’s self-funded. That’s code for buying the presidency. It’s not like we have too many Bill Gates out there. (Imagine if he ran.) Interesting that he’s blasting super-pacs.

Rubio gets cheers for mentioning LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS. Excuse me while I laugh.

Oh man, the moderators have lost control. Anderson Cooper and the Democratic debate felt waaaay more civilized than this circus. How can one guy moderate better than this four person circus?

Dear John Kasich: YOU CAN’T OVERDOSE ON WEED. If you’re going to demonize marijuana as sending a “mixed signal” to kids, say something about how cigarettes and alcohol are romanticized.

This “good guy with a gun” myth is ridiculous. How do people buy this?

Moderator directs a question at Huckabee whether he thinks Trump has “the moral authority to unite the country.” I don’t like Huckabee, but good deflection and good on him for not attacking Trump. (Even if he took a free shot at Hillary.) It’s like the candidates had a secret meeting and agreed to stay away from ad hominems, and attack the moderators and democrats.

Dear Chris Christie: Police deaths are at a low right now, you dumbass.

Jeb is 7-0 in his fantasy football league. …Why does this make me like him. Oh, right, because it’s nerdy. He says fantasy sports isn’t gambling, but more like “day trading.” …Uh, you DO realize that the stock market is basically legalized gambling.

If these guys hate the questions, I dare them to submit their own questions to a pool.

Christie to moderator: “Even in New Jersey what you’re doing is called rude.” Nice burn.

Translation on Christie’s energy policy: Give incentives, don’t just tax. Man, these guys need a translator.

Rand Paul on why medicare and SS are “broken”: It’s our grandparents fault for fucking too much. Oh man. I think he was THIS close to saying “After the war, we had all these fucking kids.” I heard the start of an F. Like he says “these fffkids.”

Okay, Christie, your “r debates r better” shpeel is getting old.

Rubio: “My mother is on medicare and social security. I’m against anything that is bad for my mother.” Nice sentiment; why don’t you give your mom some money?

Trumps insistence that WE NEED TO BE WINNERS reminds me a lot of Dubya.

Winner? Marco Rubio, with Trump in a close second. Two people you couldn’t pay me to vote for. I feel really bad for Jeb Bush. Not that some of the other candidates have a chance, but I think you can pretty much stick a fork in Jeb. I don’t know how I have the patience to watch this circus. I’M IMFORMED AND STUFF.