1022 in idea barrages

1.) When they explained how the guy who bit someone on a plane was ODing on coke and NOT a zombie, so many people were disappointed.

2.) The introspective melancholy is at Def Con Magnolia Soundtrack which, in Spaceballs terms, is going Plaid. It’s second only to Def Con Watching BIG FISH Drunk And Weeping Like A Child so it’s not Maximum Emo.

3.) I hope when Cobra Commander gets a twitter account, it’s something like @Ssssssssssssssssssss.

4.) Switch a Scientologist’s e-meter and a ghost hunters ghost-detector thing! See what happens! (Nothing!)

5.) A cross between Venus rising from the sea and Cthulhu, blocking her naughty places with horrifying mandibles instead of hair.

6.) Everyone complaining about the ubiquity of Back To The Future Day needs to check themselves on Pretending Star Wars 7 Is Gonna Be Good Year.

7.) Australia enacted strict gun control after a mass shooting, Canada has national health, they’re both still free democracies, it’s cool, you guys. We’re gonna be okay.

8.) I like to imagine, like, if we had to file unfriendings with the gov’t. Notary co-signing, big rubber stamp. It’d be so fun.

9.) When operating a food processor, I’ve been known to yell at the food “GET IN THE CHOPPA!” at the ingredients.

10.) A really really angry sheep retorting “What do you mean EWE PEOPLE?”