back to the future day barrage in idea barrages

1.) Funions should sponsor the hell out of science in exchange for getting the next fundamental particle named after them.

2.) I love it when youtube “celebrities” call the people that they’re trying to sell crap to as “the community”.

3.) “Mr. Freeze, where’d you get your doctorate?” “Brandeis University!” “Oh, yeah, I’ve heard that’s a very-“ “BRAND-EIS, GET IT?”

4.) When someone offers to do you a solid, be aware of their kinks.

5.) But there is no joy in Bloodville, for the vampire was staked-out.

6.) The Orionid Meteor Shower was originally a planet that exploded into debris because it didn’t have enough consonants to hold it together.

7.) Just pouring a solution of vinegar and rubbing alcohol in my ear in the hopes this stuffiness doesn’t turn into an earache. As you do.

8.) Bob Barker’s pick-up line was “let’s get our pets fixed and chill”.

9.) Has there been a yacht-rock festival on Long Island called “Hamptons Come Alive”?

10.) Bunch of trolls on 9Gag or whatever thought it’d be funny to claim Star Wars was “reverse racist” and the media took them seriously. Lovely.

11.) Daniel Murphy is really hoping for a Mets-Royals World Series so he can hang out with the Westboro Baptists between games.

12.) It’s not easy being Gein… when they based so many movies on your life… like Psycho & Texas Chainsaw Massacre & other films like that…

13.) Probably the only people who’d find a parody of Steely Dan’s “Peg” about pegging would be the actual guys from Steely Dan.

14.) Do your tweets hang low/do they retweet to-and-fro/are they favourited by nuts/are they blocked by folks who blow?

15.) Who’s the cat-and-lizard man whose bumbling ruins all plans? SNARF! (Daaaamn right.)

16.) A ska-band that covers themes and songs from Whedon projects called “The Mighty Mighty Josstones”.

17.) My campaign platform? Less SuperPACs, More Superguac!

18.) A centaur claiming that he doesn’t always drink beer but when he does, he drinks Dos Equus.