911 in idea barrages

1.) Was asked to run for City Council today. Happily, this very feed long ago rendered me unelectable. Thanks, facebook and twitter!

2.) In the future everyone will get 21,600 selfies of fame.

3.) If you’re ever my domestic partner, you will be pleased to find out how many household chores I would trade if I don’t have to make the bed.

4.) Let’s no longer call them The Amish. Let’s start calling them Republican Hipsters.

5.) I haven’t won the lotto as God knows I’d spend it getting carried around comic-cons in a royal litter by eight Chief O’Brien cosplayers.

6.) If you make sodas to go in MREs and you’re not called Doctor Prepper, I don’t even know what to tell you. You’ve failed.

7.) Get a tattoo of a Pac-Man ghost. Get a UV tattoo of just its eyes. Go to a rave.

8.) Learn what the Weather Channel learned, you can get reality TV ANYWHERE. Suck that cheap teat too much, you become anonymous.

9.) A meme of an escalator with the caption “Well, that escalated quickly”.