94 in idea barrages

1.) Items like Band-Aids lose their copyright power and identity to common use by consumers the same as peacemakers lose their names to history.

2.) I don’t literally believe that we are quantum bubbles of consciousness & realities only forms when we overlap but y’know figuratively yeah.

3.) A victorious jockey proclaiming that that drinks are on the horse.

4.) They shake hands under the table they pound with fists.

5.) “God only gives us what we can handle” is the weirdest most-roundabout victim shaming we’ve got as a culture.

6.) Experimental treatments briefly allow Pikachu to speak English before he slowly loses this ability in FLOWERS FOR POKEMON.

7.) Celebrity has become the cultural vent for our suppressed polytheism.

8.) All these conventionals, why can’t they go off to a convent?

9.) They alternate between dunking you in the water and making you listen to lute music. It’s called waterbarding. It’s unbearable.

10.) Every year, thousands of hipsters go out into the desert to create egg-based sauces in a tradition called Bearnaise Man.

11.) Making a sword go snicker-snack with too much repetition can lead to vorpal tunnel syndrome.

12.) Contents may have shape-shifted during shipping. Your cereal might now be fifteen pencils or a small cat.