721 in idea barrages

1.) If you’re going to start a magazine about the finer points of charades, at least use the slogan “Aspiring Minds Want To Know!”

2.) Two guys pretend their dead boss is alive at a festival for rich people pretending to be performance artists in “WEEKEND AT BURNING MAN’S”.

3.) “But Daddy, I want to cure polio nooooooooooow!” - Veruca Salk

4.) Carrot-Top is a prime example of our toxic prop-culture.

5.) I like to believe the real mildly-funny Adam Sandler is going to escape from his prison some day and unmask this other guy.

6.) I ain’t buying an Oculus until there’s one that turns into a robot called Oculus Prime.

7.) I wonder if on the set of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND anyone was ever like “More like eternal SHOTLIST, amiright?”

8.) I guess in the GO SET A WATCHMEN mash-up the Dr. Manhattan analogue would be “Boo Radiation”?

9.) Is LMAI a thing? Like laughing so hard your butt puckers in?

10.) Look, I write a lot of bad jokes but I’m not posting pictures of all my meals.

11.) Oh man, yeah, Art Bell’s back because the first commercial was for some snake oil fake medicine called Arctic Jaga? Oh Art.

12.) Is it a law that country singers gotta have names like the nom-de-plumes of airport trash novelists?