73 in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes the responsible thing to do is not to take on commitments then go crazy fulfilling them rather knowing when not to at all.

2.) Peas in guacamole is an avacadon’t.

3.) “Celebrate” and “Celibate” are almost the same word but mean the exact opposite.

4.) Oh you poor gullible bolds. Fortune favours the already fortunate. The already fortunate are laughing behind your backs.

5.) Oh, I also coined the term “befellowed” today to explain that a lady acquaintance has a boyfriend. So there’s that.

6.) If I had a movie theatre with a domed roof, I would definitely call it the Francis Ford Cupola.

7.) A new good patriotic July 4th tradition would be shooting fireworks at any displays of Confederate flags.

8.) When he asked her why she was such an Oompa Loompa shade of orange, she bowled him over with her tansplaining.

9.) I wonder if Ms. Birch was ever famous enough to have fans self-publish some sort of Thora zine.

10.) Every pope story could be more honestly told as “Out-Of-Touch Religious Extremist Slightly Less Awful Than Previous”.