614 in idea barrages

1.) Possibly unpopular opinion: the demo version of TMBG’s “don’t let’s start” is a better song, specifically for charming flaws.

2.) The can of student loans kicked down the street for another few months. I don’t feel better, of course, I feel even worse. To quote Blur “modern life, well, it’s rubbish, I’m holding on for tomorrow.”

3.) People always speak of sensible shoes. Where are all the nonsensical shoes? I want to wear those.

4.) I kinda wanna do guerrilla movie screenings in the parking lot near where the Riverside Mall movieplex used to be, I dunno.

5.) Spend your life steeling yourself for disaster and disaster never comes, then your whole life lost was the disaster. Disaster comes or it doesn’t and you roll with it or you don’t, y’know? Spinning one’s wheels worrying about it, you don’t accomplish anything other than worrying. I think.

6.) The fact that golf claps sound like polite-but-vigorous self-pleasure says more about golf than you want to admit.

7.) What’d be fun would be if we actually leveled up RPG-style with Twitter post counts. “You’re now a level 20 unemployed bard!”

8.) Was the porn parody of The Office at least called The Orifice?

9.) Why would you drink yourself to death when you can cheap-fast-food-french-fries yourself to death? IT’S AN OPTION, GUYS.

10.) It’s a good thing I stayed out of journalism because I’d end every meeting demanding pictures of Spider-Man.

11.) Memo to myself: set aside clean undies for sizing for wrestling tights. Because my life is awesome.

12.) I don’t know what Avett Brothers is but I’m assuming it’s a brand of organic salad dressing at Trader Joes. Probably with bacon.

13.) The old syncrovox “Space Angel” cartoon, a primitive vision of a fantastic future we never got. I dig it.

14.) Some believe it enough to be able to touch the third rail. Others are ready to do rails OFF the third rail.

15.) It’s a fat Bronson Pinchot. A Bulky Bartokamous, if you will.

16.) It would be about identical cousins, like the Patty Duke Show, except with Patty Hearst.