63 in idea barrages

1.) Shia LaBoeuf looks more like Dustin Diamond with every passing day.

2.) It’s a show about lifeguards who save white hipsters from drowning in culturally appropriated slang. It’s called “Baewatch”.

3.) Video game conspiracy theorists believe all games are secretly controlled by Masonic The Hedgehog and his Shadow Government.

4.) Sighs matter.

5.) The painting “Nightowls” except every character is Nite-Owl from the comic book Watchmen.

6.) People say there’s people who dream of things other than being an artist but I have a hard time believing ‘em. Doctors and lawyers and presidents and plumbers are all needed, of course, and sometimes they pay better than being an artist but to dream of it? Who could ever dream of anything other than telling stories, through words or pictures or songs or paint or steel or rock or whatever? It seems like a con. It seems like sour grapes. It seems like something people pretend so that everyone who can’t art won’t be sad all the time. If you prefer stability or money or whatever to your dreams, that’s fine, mazeltov, but how could anything else be anyone’s dream? It boggles my mind.

7.) “Brooklyn Gentrifried Chicken - We Do Chicken White” would be their slogan, I guess.

8.) It bothers me when people think “hope” means devotion to unrealistic optimism. Hope means pushing forward, improving along the way.

9.) Get your pickled vegetables endorsed by a rapper. Sell your Beets By Dre. Collect money.