On Clean Anus. in The Napkin.

So, I pooped a poop. I know, I know, hold your applause. I was an iota surprised, as all I ate yesterday was a bagel. Whoops.

I said to myself, “Self, it’s time for a quick shower.”

Personally, I feel only as clean as my anus. Defecation varies, for sure. We’ve all had those poops where we’re like I DON’T REMEMBER EATING THAT. And the poops that are pretty damned clean and you only wipe once. But ultimately, dude, poop just came out your anus.

And I like having a clean anus. There’s a certain confidence that comes with the knowledge that “Look out world, I got a clean butthole.”

You could say I’m… anal about hygiene.

:: dodges tomatoes ::