521 in idea barrages

1.) I am a noble yeti/I like to eat spaghetti/my night-times are driven/by dreams of large women/and the poems of Ferlinghetti

2.) Because English is interesting, you can be the most handsome man at the comics convention without being conventionally handsome.

3.) At 25,000 tweets, I hope that Twitter sends me a silver-plated unemployment check.

4.) Do bars around Syracuse sell special 44oz beers so we can drink to forget how bad the football team is? There’s money in THAT banana stand.

5.) We’re about a week away from North Korea flat-out starting a gofundme to either get an actual missile program or a better Photoshop artist.

6.) “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” actually needs to have its grammar fixed.

7.) Just a short drive east of the Buffalo Wings are, of course, the Chicken Finger Lakes.

8.) Every other tweet this week is a business or entity trumpeting a tangential connection to Letterman, coat-tailing current events for clicks.

9.) Some pine to be young and in love. I’d settle for being in my middle thirties and have someone in love with me, I dunno.

10.) American democracy would be a lot more effective if it didn’t filter out most sane people by being an insane process.

11.) When you can’t find what you’re looking for online, just yell “THE GOOGLES DO NOTHING!”