41 in idea barrages

1.) Whenever an entertainer says “don’t interrupt I’m sharing my gift with the audience” unironically, immediate 72-hour psych hold.

2.) Didja ever notice that whatever bad traits bigots project onto minorities tend to be the bigot’s largest failings? It’s funny.

3.) Remember April Fools Day is a shameful prank amateur hour like a lightweight getting sloppy drunk on New Years Eve. Don’t do it.

4.) Selling hard liquor at a Phillies games sounds like a disaster on par with busing extra racists to a European soccer game.

5.) When NASCAR is saying you’re being bigoted, even those people who hand out Chick tracts in the airport gotta be like “damn”.

6.) When an observant Jew or Lenten Friday Catholic eats bacon, they are soon afflicted with hamnesia.

7.) Copyright your own genetic code. Sue your children for infringement!

8.) Before facebook taught us “Gonzo The Muppet Dances To Rap” was news, we thought war & oppression were newsworthy. Simpler times.

9.) A facility that stores brains in jars in hopes one day new bodies can be cloned for them called “Tanks For The Memories”.