327 in idea barrages

1.) I’m full of surprises. And peanut butter. (The surprise is how MUCH peanut butter!)

2.) The best thing about One Direction is they’re SO not threateningly masculine that they’re stealth pro-lesbian. Which is rad.

3.) Do you ever get the feeling that The Klan bought out a bankrupt Colonial re-enactment park & the next day, we had The Tea Party?

4.) How about instead of Throwback Thursday, we do Blowback Thursday where we intentionally post things that will horribly backfire?

5.) Remember when late shows used to try to have interesting guests & be funny instead of desperately chasing the viral rainbow? Good times.

6.) Hashtag trend about how the living member of a boy band is “in our hearts” instead of 150 dead in a plane crash? Stay classy, tweenyboppers.

7.) It’s Watergate, it’s Benghazi, it’s a board game, it’s Ghatzi! It’s like Yahtzee except hopelessly politicized.

8.) Someone named “Butch” Otter could only be either the king of the NYC bear scene or the GOP governor of Idaho. One or the other.

9.) What’s even the point of Spring Break without an MTV Beach House Tiki God announcing Daria or Warren G videos? (I am very old.)

10.) Laptop at 19%. Looking for a thumb drive. Happily, my folks are probably helping me get a new one this weekend.

11.) That D.I.Y. cooking was really punktuous.

12.) I miss when “swiping your photo” meant “stealing something framed off the wall”.

13.) facebook, your newest trending is that some actress attended a college basketball playoff game. facebook, are you making fun of yourself?

14.) I would joke about confusing “Zyan” with failed Billy Corgan sideproject “Zwan” but the 1D fans would have no idea of which I spoke.