323 in idea barrages

1.) There are only five words in “Saint Elmo’s Fire”. “Ba” “da” and “Saint Elmo’s Fire”.

2.) Whenever the term “basic bitch” is thrown around I wonder if there is an “acidic bitch” & if they can annihilate into neutral.

3.) I always considered “goddamn” the worst curse as it demands an all powerful being to torture you infinitely.

4.) The internet is a big hairy spider with paintbrushes at the tips of its legs.

5.) Sellin’ Juggalo strippers nipple covers made out of Faygo soda caps, callin’ ‘em Insane Clown Pasties.

6.) When I am low on worries, the world is this amazing playground of potential and adventure. I just gotta stay low-worries.

7.) It’s a robot to help you deal with your anxiety. It’s, you know, a coping mechanism.

8.) When people call each other “brothers in (religious figure)” don’t you imagine them having an awkward three-way w/ said figure?

9.) He doesn’t like to say he “castrates bulls”, he prefers “severeance package administrator”.

10.) All the bros holdin’ up their phones can’t enjoy the show hafta let everyone know they’re rich and they’re stoned but that’s how it goes.

11.) What does St. Nick clean his spilled milk and cookies up with? Santa’s Dairy napkins!

12.) Someone mash Sublime “Badfish” with that “Summer Girls” song finally, please.

13.) If you know a vegetarian trying to quit smoking, by all means double-troll them with a charcoal cook-out.

14.) They say you shouldn’t eat all that cheap caramel but, hey man, ROLO.

15.) Too fat to live, too young to diet.

16.) Start a band called “The Strumlords”.

17.) Have an autobiography entitled “The Vagina Travelogues” and MEAN it.

18.) In hell, all the cool broads/are taken or gay/or too far away/so brother, I must be/not in heaven today.

19.) All these AM stations, ruining cool jingles by adding reference to their FM repeaters. BOO TO THAT.

20.) Which will happen first? Will this laptop die or will my surgery wound heal? It is a race.

21.) The Dangerous Lifestyle Of The Serial Binge-Dreamer: A Cautionary Tale.