318 in idea barrages

1.) Kiss me, I’m irate.

2.) Having one or two great ideas isn’t a thing. Anyone can do that. If you can generate lots of ideas, some good, you’ll be what’s valued.

3.) So when you get a Timehop photo on your facebook, next year will it Timehop that Timehop? Will there be recursive nostalgia? Will you long for the clip show much as the show from whence they were clipped? At what point does the difference lose meaning?

4.) I like to pretend that Oasis fake their accents and their dad is Actual Gallagher. It would explain a lot.

5.) All those lost angels its named after got that way because they left their harps in San Francisco.

6.) Behind Chuck Norris’ beard is the face of an irrelevant ignorant reactionary who thinks people care what he thinks.

7.) Everything is either appended with -zilla or -gate these days. Is it some kind of conspiracy? Can you expose the Zillagate?

8.) Frosted Seasonally-Leaved Trees: they’re magically deciduous!

9.) Crisp fall leaves or, as they called them during the first Depression, “dream bacon”.

10.) Everyone’s talking about Durst going to jail. I’m glad to hear my Limp Bizkit Criminalization petition finally passed into law.

11.) Y’know, just walkin’ the dog, singin’ the Too Many Cooks song to him as “Too Many Poops” like a normal person not driven mad by the winter.

12.) “Cultural appropriation/be sweeping the nation” would be the best line in a suburban white-boy rap, ever.

13.) Successful when everything’s built to max his strengths & hide his flaws, a huge failure on a more even field Tim Tebow IS white privilege.

14.) If Nightcrawler had been from Northern California instead of Germany, he would be known as The Hellaporter.

15.) Winter, you mad fickle lover, you, I knew you weren’t done with us yet.

16.) My stitches itches, my stitches itches, my stitches itches just above my britches.