228 in idea barrages

1.) Lately I am just, like, 900 pounds of libido in a 350 pound bag which is equally sexy and unsexy as hell.

2.) If Quebec DOES ever secede, we’re renaming Newfoundland “Maine 2: Judgement Maine”.

3.) I await the plot twist where George Clooney’s wife turns out to be Ra’s Al-Ghul’s daughter. Good night, internet.

4.) Twitter made the cycle of pop culture so fast, trends disappearing in two days time, that being out of touch is meaningless. Works for me.

5.) Is there a Twitter persona of Edgar Allen Poestmodern yet? Get on that, Internet America.

6.) A German ALL IN THE FAMILY where Archibald Bunkerschmidt was nostalgic for the Nazi days would have been a fascinating disaster.

7.) The booze to your needs, the price to your means. Be A Social(ist) Drinker!

8.) Paying your taxes is just crowdsourcing the functions of our society and you rich dicks are supposed to LOVE the whole crowdsourcing thing.

9.) Vulgar is the new humane, taking the “polite” assumptions of gender faith and class, stripping them away so we can all just be ourselves.

10.) Carnival barker, I don’t wanna win something for the little lady. I wanna win something for the intimidatingly tall lady.

11.) What the Z-List reality show biblethumper does not understand is that Hell is other Duggars.

12.) Obama is Spock, Bill was Kirk. The Bushes were the evil admirals on every episode of The Next Generation.

13.) Color perception is on a broad spectrum, get over it internet, people are being tortured in police black-sites in America at this second.

14.) February is the shortest month of the year to trick us into thinking we’re closer to getting out of this damned winter.

15.) The faster that corporate twitter accounts start jumping on a meme’s bandwagon, the less interesting that meme was originally.

16.) REAL TALK: Monica Lewinsky was pretty cute and most of the people who made fun of her couldn’t get a date with a girl that cute.