224 in idea barrages

1.) The five hottest things in the world in descending order are being smart, funny, able to sing, tall & being a millionaire celebrity chef.

2.) (The descent into madness will be expressed through increasing use of all-caps. It will be our code, our code together.)

3.) “Other Natural Flavors” iced tea? You won’t tell me what they are but AT LEAST YOU SAY THEY’RE NATURAL!

4.) On the worst Alaskan shipping routes, only the fiercest drag queens are able to get the goods to town as ICE ROAD TUCKERS.

5.) If Birdman had also taken 12 years to make would it have won DOUBLE OSCAR? MEGA OSCAR? WEIRD OSCAR?

6.) Reality is the butcher that quarters and seals in wax paper packages our very dreams before us. Hold him off as long as you can.

7.) A chihuahua that is calm and doesn’t freak out all the time. A chillhuahua, if you will.

8.) The memetic mash-up needed now is Joe Biden being creepy to John Travolta when Travolta’s being creepy to someone else.

9.) Craigslist is all ads for prostitution & free broken couches. Coincidence? Did they break the couches doing the prostitution?

10.) The song “Kokomo” but with names of Lovecraftian Elder Gods instead of places in the Caribbean.