218 in idea barrages

1.) Why don’t we have Back To The Future parties on Fat Tuesday? WHY DON’T WE CALL IT MARTY GRAS?

2.) When Qui-Gon died, he went to an endless hell of continuously kidnapped children for the sin of saving Jar-Jar’s life.

3.) Slow “Mo Money Mo Problems” down 500% and you have The Laborious B.I.G.

4.) Just lie to yourself that you’re really attracted to me until the power of my personality gets you there for real.

5.) We misuse “Armageddon” for minor snow storms so often that if Armageddon ever comes, we’ll think it is gonna be 3” of snow.

6.) It’s about a war between rival gourmet-candy-maker gangs. It’s called “Straight Outta Comfits”. It’s… pretty terrible.

7.) Do you ever look up at the powerlines & wonder if it’s all a con & they’re just waiting to crucify a race of invading giants?

8.) If Potter is now immortal because only Voldemort could kill him, lets get fan fic of him resurrecting V in 200 years so he can finally die.

9.) It’s about a BDSM relationship w/ the sexually-ambiguous Galloping Gourmet. It’s called “50 Shades of Graham Kerr”. It’s… pretty terrible.

10.) I want to give up being fearful for Lent but I’m not religious so I dodged THAT bullet on a technicality.

11.) Any time I see a trailer for a movie so jingoistic it’s borderline fascist & the announcer says “based on a true story” I audibly laugh.

12.) You’re not a part of the darkness but the darkness is a part of you. You can’t kill it but you can negotiate it into a small useful corner.

13.) Rigging the tax code is as simple as finding the exemption that proves the rule.