600th prosebox post in idea barrages

1.) Brian Williams said he hated it when Kayne interrupted his winning a Grammy.

2.) When they refer to “Charlie” in ‘Nam movies, I briefly imagine an army of frothing Charles Mansons tearing through the jungle.

3.) The biggest clue that Rush Limbaugh secretly knows he’s terrible is that he named himself after the band Rush.

4.) Who would want a cult of personality? I want a cult of perspicacity

5.) I demand Harrison Ford and Garrison Keillor mashed up into Garrison Ford and on my desk by 5PM. ALSO: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN.

6.) If they’d only listened to the Church of the Subgenius & waited for the HailBob comet instead everything would’a been all right.

7.) Make the art or craft you’d want to see and hope for the best. Nothing’s more random than success, might as well be guileless.

8.) Slurred over fast enough, “gossip” and “God’s plan” sound almost exactly alike.

9.) Under Hollywood eaves, under Beverly sills, behind blinded draped windows, someone’s paying the bills.

10.) I want Apocalypse Now re-enacted in full by Smurfs entitled “Charlie Don’t Smurf” on my desk by 5PM. AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN.

11.) It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s Birdplane.

12.) There may be more pathetic sights than Pop’s cat sprinting into the house covered in snow after a poo but I don’t know them.

13.) I just realized that the X-Men’s favourite pub “Harry’s Hideaway” sounds like a bear bar. I guess that’s why they’re open minded to mutants?

14.) Phlegm: if it’s yellow, just be mellow, if it’s green, make a scene, if it’s white, hack all night, if it’s red, you’ll be dead.

15.) You know what would be a great title for a book? “Sex, God And Proper Comma Use” with “Sex, God” up at the top separated from the rest.

16.) You guys realize that this is basically Russia’s Cuban Missile Crisis, right? That we could start World War 3 just to swing our dick?