catch-up barrage, with mustard in idea barrages

1.) If seeing is Beliebing, man, I’ll echo-locate. Thanks.

2.) Find myself knocking on wood a lot to not jinx anything. But a lot of things a lot of work went into are slowly coming together. Thank you. Less worrying about the future, more working on what we can now to build a good now and a great future may well come from it.

3.) Let’s kickstart a project called Dat Ass Up so that if you contribute your friends get e-mails saying you “backed Dat Ass Up”.

4.) I had hoped they would stick it out before retiring to the point where there’d be 5-day on-ship concerts called Motley Cruise.

5.) Being sacrificed to a volcano just adds basalt to injury.

6.) I’d like nearly everyone to like me and my stuff but if the people who dislike me REALLY REALLY DISLIKE me, that’s a win too.

7.) Line is busy at The Pinkertons, might not have that union leader beaten in broad daylight until Monday. #RichPeopleProblems

8.) Undocumented child you dress as a bellhop to hold the cocaine bowl at your parties getting less cute. #RichPeopleProblems

9.) Have to wear your monocle to get recognized when you go out & pretend to shop for yourself to get noticed. #RichPeopleProblems

10.) This white tiger filet’s barely a shade over medium. Garcon. GARCON! #RichPeopleProblems

11.) Tried to let the cat out to pee. In the doorway, he growled at the cold, turned around and ran inside. You & me both, Felix. The dog, of course, pooped in the living room to punish me for leaving for 90 minutes to get my mom’s car worked on.

12.) We need a video for Journey’s “Lovin Touchin Squeezin” comprised of clips from THE ROOM, just for the “you’re tearing me apart” synergies.

13.) Whenever I see “private party” on a door at a hotel or convention center, I pretend that’s a really classy way to say “orgy”.

14.) In my day “going to see Fifty Shades” meant “shopping for sunglasses” and, yes, in this specific case the past WAS better.

15.) They trap us in McWal-jobs and build gated communities to keep us out, working class, they treat us like The Working Dead.

16.) It looks like I’ll be doing a featured spot at a poetry reading on April 8th in the Albany area! Friends who are in the general Capital Region/Albania, I will hit you with more details closer to the event.