1214 in idea barrages

1.) Tire company lobbyists engage in radial politics.

2.) Just had an abscess the size of a kumquat lanced on my lower back. I FEEL SO ATTRACTIVE RIGHT NOW. Oh and “I can’t get this needle into your skin, I’ll have to get someone stronger” that’s… something I heard today.

3.) Comes down to it, Ollie isn’t great at being a dog but he’s awesome at being a fuzzy toddler. Good boy.

4.) Needless to say, when Starlord explained to Groot what a leafblower actually was, he could only mutter disappointedly “I am Groot.”

5.) Sometimes I’ll just imagine Martin Freeman and Morgan Freeman in each others roles and it’s pretty funny, you guys.

6.) Your new band will be called Sex Weirdo. You don’t have to thank me. Just cut me in on your merchandise sales.

7.) Your new video game store will be called Pixel Hut. You don’t have to thank me. Just cut me in on your merchandise sales.

8.) I still can’t believe he never hooked up with a soup company to sell David Lee Broth.