j14 in idea barrages

A kids book about Santa’s housecat, Felix Navidad.

If your feet hurt while astral projecting, you might be suffering from planar fasciitis.

A moment of feeling genuinely good looking, opposed by realizing you’re at an age where everyone else your age basically settled for less than you, years ago, so they could have houses and kids and stuff. A heady mix of ego and despair. Interesting.

A parody of Bush’s “Glycerine” about how Brits incorrectly call eggplant “aubergines”.

Welcome to the new season. My season. WEIRD BOY WINTER!

It is my dream to buy the web address “uti . ca” and making it look like a Canadian website about treating urinary tract infections but just filling it lousy with Utica references. Diagrams of the urethra that look suspiciously like rigatoni. Etc.

The good news about not being famous is that they won’t make a movie about you starring an A.I. Chris Pratt in 2063.

Have tons of fun with this one weird trick: Whenever anyone asks you what your favourite Taylor Swift song is, look them square in the eye and say “Baby, You’re A Firework”. Fun ALWAYS follows.