j8 in idea barrages

It’d be about, like, a goth girl detective, like a goth Nancy Drew and it’d be called MORBID CURIOSITY.

No one had told me that Lou Barlow from Dinosaur Jr had slowly morphed into a tiny skinny version of wrestling’s Mick “Mankind” Foley. I would’ve been so excited if someone had told me that!

The best Thanksgiving song parody, of course, would involve the line “you can fuck anything that you want / at Phalluses Restaurant”.

A Beatles parody about the orange goblin “Gooooooooooolden showers fill his eyes…”

If prostitution were legalized nationally tomorrow, how long before McDonalds rolled out the McRub?

There’s indeed no rest for the wicked but there’s no rest either for the chaste, no rest for the in-betweens, no rest for anyone. Just an indeterminate stretch of days with which to do the best we can, no matter how tired we get.

The genre of metal where you cover Beatles songs as metal is called “applecore”.

The difference between a rhinoceros and a unicorn with a pituitary problem is a determination left only to the scientists and the saints, they’ll never agree and they’ll always both be wrong, so let’s punt and say there was never a difference at all.