oct 20 in idea barrages

Why say “pregnant despite chastity belt” when you could say “snatch-key kid”?

That feeling of “why do I keep playing this video game when I’m so bad at it, why do I enjoy it anyway?” but about being a human being.

No, the best name for a riot-girl punk band is MEREDITH BAXTER BURNING. (Though “Mommy Hilfiger” is also pretty good.)

Somebody running a marijuana dispensary is gonna revive the old camel “Hump Day” ads as “Hemp Day” and make a whole lotta money and even more memes.

Now, if you want to know the good news, no, no one is putting their very very expensive drugs in your kids’ candy this Halloween. Anyone that crazy is also way too broke to do that.

I hope that the smartest person in Montana has the title “Missoula Oblongata”.

Madness’ “Our House” and CSNY’s “Our House” both need parodies but one of them should be about the play “Our Town” and the other should be about our horse. I’m not sure which should be which, though.

I’m seeing more and more recipes for versions of cinnamon rolls where they fill it with something other than cinnamon, nutella rolls, cardamon rolls, what have you. I think that all non-cinnamon rolls, though, should be called “synonym rolls”.