Balance in Walking away and into the New

I think I had to see what was blocking my intuition in order to access it. I can’t say it’s fully accessed because hope and fear make it so fuzzy. In a way, I with the tarot reader never would have instilled hope in me about that type of relationship when I was in such a dark place. Because now I’m second guessing everything with Z. While I may have repeated old patterns with him, not all is lost right? My intuition is still here… my spiritual team…and I can pay attention to the sounds and all the signs. I need to trust them as they come up. I have to access my feelings and give ALL my parts room and time to speak. While there is no true cohesion now, balance seems to be the one thing. Even if not all of them agree, nothing is pushed to extremes and so it’s not necessarily a crisis. I wonder if this will really work? It can’t be a perfect balance…but maybe even just noticing when it’s too off kilter to one side or with one part, I can be mindful and correct it. Maybe? The answer is not going all the way to the other side…because both sides and parts are valid. This is how I taught people how to balance their values as well.

Maybe none of them really can win on their own if it’s going to create havoc to my entire system. The middle ground hold the distress…I just need to let things be as they are and listen and observe and THEN respond.