july 29 in idea barrages

Great. Instead of sleeping, my brain is masking up The Scorpions “Rock You Like A Hurricane” and Bob Dylan’s “Hurricane”. Fine. Great. There is definitely a viable evolutionary advantage to this occurrence, somehow. This is definitely a feature and not a bug.

A monster fart in D&D can be an owl-bear’s bowel air.

Around here, if the real estate sign says “4 Family House” it means “For Sale To Slumlord Looking To Abuse HUD Stipends”.

The difficulty with the internet having all the extant information created by the human race is that all the hoaxes and misunderstandings and lies came right along with all of the truths. And it still takes the lot of learning and training to tell the difference it always did.

Guys, please don’t fantasize about Roman Times, you wouldn’a been Caesar, you’d’a been a slave cleaning Nero’s Orgy Pit. Gals, same, you wouldn’a been a princess, you’d’a died in childbirth at 15 after plowing a field all day. The past sucked for everyone but kings. Eyes forward.

Pete Davidson looks like he resides in a dumpster behind a Denny’s, living off the Canadian Bacon slices discarded from the Moons Over My Hammy because nobody eats Canadian Bacon, not even Canadians.

One fun thing you can do is only refer to the film “The Sixth Sense” as “The Adventures of Bruce Willis’ Ghost”.

I would be a terrible employee at a breakfast place because every time someone ordered pancakes or waffles, I would yell “BATTER UP!” until the line-cook stabbed me to death after about three weeks.