july 19 in idea barrages

Move to Montana’s capital. Start a restaurant called “Helena’s Ham Basket”. It will be worth it, if only for the meme.

This push to re-invent Martha Stewart as a feminist icon is so bizarre. She sold classism, built in sweatshops, and wasn’t even happy with that, so she inside-traded too. Individual success isn’t revolutionary if you hurt everyone else in your category along the way.

Naming the pig “Sir Francis Bacon” sounds funny now but some day you won’t find it so funny.

A remake of “The King and I” except instead of the King of Siam she comes to help, it’s Elvis.

Why say “ass eating” when you can say “tongue in cheek”?

Don’t be mad at athletes for becoming millionaires by spending their entire lives working to become highly specialized entertainers. Be mad at billionaire owners who inherited or stole their fortunes while taking the lion’s share of the profits on a product they add nothing to.

“Damn, girl, are you imaginary? Because them curves are MYTHICCAL.”

If you think about it, “boomerang” should be the past tense and the noun should be “boomering”.