july 7 in idea barrages

A BEAUTIFUL MIND except it’s A BEAUTIFUL MID and he’s, like, just a little crazy and pretty good at math.

My prison name would be Mitochrondria, of course, as I would be the powerhouse of the cell.

The titles of ASMRs on youtube are THE wildest ride. Real titles of videos actual people are masturbating to: “Finding Out That Best Friend You Have A Crush On Is A Werewolf” “Lice Check In MacDonalds Drive-Thru (lofi)” “Thicc Wolf Girl Protects Her Body Pillow AKA You”.

Wizard Garfield hates mundanes.

No matter how bad you feel about yourself, no matter how you’ve screwed up, no matter how hopeless it all feels, remember, at least you didn’t write or direct STAR WARS THE PHANTOM MENACE with the racist lizard bunny that steps in the poopie and where Kid Vader screams “YIPPIE!”

In Latveria, all internet use includes MANDATORY DOOMSCROLLING. SO SAYS DOOM.

Now, if you REALLY want a Beatles parody about one of Disney’s lesser live-action works, you can do worse than singing “Hey, Darby O’Gill, what did you kill, Darby O’Gill”.

The worst-best porn name would, of course, be “Pearly Gates”.